“I was born at an early age”- Bob Bray
I tried a few different jobs but could never find what I wanted to really do with my life. After being involved in the cadet program for a couple of years I served a year in the Canadian Army Reserves, and in 1970 I decided to join what had become the Canadian Forces regular component as an infantryman. Enjoying many parts of the military I completed grade 12 so I could pursue officer training.
While I was serving in Cyprus, marital problems surfaced which I could do nothing about ten thousand miles away. Eventually, I was recommended for officer candidate training, but applied and was recommended for University Training Plan for Men which would allow me to attend university and receive full pay. This would enable me to travel away from home for about ten months a year, but now I would have to attend military college. While I was on exercise I lost a son to crib death and started drinking.
In January 1975, I was accepted to Regina Police Service. This was fun for a few years as I like to work busy areas and learned a lot. There were some issues as I was always outspoken on I could find many ways to solve problems, which fit with the military but not with policing. By 1981, I was pretty good at drinking and my next wife wasn’t keen on all the booze. I later worked in race relations and became a race relations trainer, but I saw the problem wasn’t racial, but human relations based. I received great training in race relations, management, experience working with and helping victims and how not to be a supervisor.
I was just sort of bitter about the job, the administration and the treatment of minorities. Having always suspected I was sort of aboriginal I asked my mom who denied it. Of course in the police industry, this would make me the brunt of jokes or nicknames. As a policeman, I had been reading about Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and tried to practice many techniques for creating change in myself and others, change wasn’t welcome.
In 1990, I decided to leave and complete my degree and attended university full-time as well as working as a teaching assistant. I also started a part-time consulting & training business in race relations for a year and a half. Throughout my career as a soldier and a policeman I had been working on my degree and finally in 1991 I had earned a four-year degree in Adult Education. I decided I was okay with being a slow learner. I am currently working on my Masters in Social Work at the University of Southern California.
After completing my degree, I took a job with a multinational security guard company and rose to a regional manager within a year but left after two years when they decided to not pay a promised bonus. Based on what I learned about operating with no middle management, I started my own security business and later purchased a janitorial company. This worked out well and we became a regional company with offices in three other cities with about 160 employees.
Life went on and I thought I was fairly successful with family, house, cars, church, etc. I had no patience with family, few relations with my estranged kids, not a great relationship with my second wife, anger, road rage, impatience, etc. Alas, after a lifelong struggle with illness our 13-year-old son died of respiratory failure. It devastated us and I began to have more addiction problems. After attending counselling for a couple of years, I learned I was an alcoholic who hadn’t been a hard drinker in about 30 years and having being abused as a kid surfaced many times.
I have learned that we can give up the booze which is about 15% of the problem but being a jerk makes up the remainder of the problem which doesn’t go away so easy. So I got hooked up with AA and started an incredible journey. After a few years at AA I met this guy named George I told him I wanted more, I didn’t want to be an alcoholic anymore. He hooked me up with a counsellor named Cheryl and under her tutelage I learned much more about recovering from my problems and practising NLP. By the way, we became good friends and associates. George had provided a workshop which I attended and learned how to overcome issues such as anger, depression, sadness or any imaginable mood with almost the blink of an eye. I still had to come to grips with problems, but it was easier without the stress or moods.
These guys were life changers for me. I don’t have many of the issues I used to have.
Later I learned there was, in fact, Metis in my background. My mother would have been horrified. My great great great grandfather had been recruited by Lord Selkirk in Quebec to help settle the Red River Settlement as many Metis people were present. His job had been to liaise with Metis people and help develop schooling and commerce. As a community leader, he declined the opportunity to get involved in the uprising with Louis Riel. He was a business and family man who believed his place was with his family.
I spent years working with youth groups in churches, Sunday school teacher, church boards. I served in the cadet program as a reserve officer, coach and instructor, and later becoming a commanding officer achieving awards for results through team development. I’ve received great management, leadership and instructional training courses. Remembering a Sunday school teacher who was good to me as a kid, I have always wanted to be like him.
Recently, I have received Dale Carnegie training, served as a coach for two training courses, trained as an NLP Practitioner and received training and personal experience in releasing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I have taken a hard life and have made it into something meaningful, my friend George
and I started Dynamic Discovery to help others do the same.