Are you a Control Freak?
I have often heard people referred to as controllers or control-freaks, but my work and my studies have led me to believe that the word control is overused (abused?) in relation to human behavior.
I understand that the original meaning or intent of the word as a derogatory descriptor referred to those people who raised hell by demanding that everyone around them do, be, and act only in ways that would please the Controller.
In therapy, we use the word control as a term that describes people who try to control or make sense of their own lives by trying to control others, but in my circle we believe that it is less possible to control people than to control a herd of cats. Which is why Controllers are almost always out-of-control.
Let that sink in…
Controllers are almost always out-of-control.
Controllers, when questioned on their behaviour, have a ready set of excuses for why they do what they do. A few of those alibis are:
- IF people didn’t get on my nerves, everything would be okay. . .
- IF my talents were acknowledged, everything would be okay. . .
- IF everybody didn’t oppose me, everything would be okay . . .
- IF other people would only listen to me, everything would be okay . . .
- IF I didn’t have so many worries, everything would be okay . . .
- IF people weren’t so dumb, everything would be okay . . .
When a Controller goes through our Dynamic Discovery program, they are able to add a couple more “IF” statements:
- IF I had earlier attended Dynamic Discovery and learned how to convert my weaknesses into strengths and stopped building alibis to cover them, and . . .
- IF I had previously been able to see myself as I really am, I would have found out that what was wrong with me was easily correctable.
- IF I had done all that, then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others, for I know that there must be something WRONG with me or . . . well, I would now be where I have always wanted to be and . . .
- I would have earlier learned what I have just learned in Dynamic Discovery and . . .
Wait! Hold the phone! What am I prattling on about? I have gone through Dynamic Discovery and I do know how to change my behaviors so as to become what I’ve always wanted to be (happy) and be accepted by others just for being who and what I am.
Never mind…So are you a Control Freak?