You know that book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. Sometimes I honestly believe it’s true especially when it comes to the blame game in relationships.
So, my wife and I were sort of wrestling and it all seemed like fun. I must have gotten carried away and hurt her. I wasn’t trying to but it just sort of happened. I suppose being a man carries that extra responsibility of being bigger and stronger. I was pretty sure it wasn’t because of trying to win and losing sight of the idea of having fun or forgetting we can hurt people too easily cause I can become a little focused on winning and not the playing. It’s like playing cards with family members, I’d rather win even if it is for fun or small change. Some people say, that games are for the social interaction, but we are men, we have to win at all costs, don’t we? I’ve thought about letting her win a couple of times but it’s never happened, I always seem to get carried away and win.
I could tell by her reaction during the match that she has stopped resisting and had stopped having fun (she so often gets hurt when we do this). To make sure she isn’t pretending injury to try and get an advantage (I don’t recall that ever happening but it could), I don’t release my grip as I have sort of got her pinned with laying on her one arm and her other arm held above her shoulder. Ya, I have won. I ask what’s wrong and she has this hurt look on her face and says, you hurt me. She isn’t a pushover, she’s 5’8” and plays some contact sports and can put up a good fight. I was sort of paying attention but didn’t notice I had hurt her. My immediate response which I said out loud, “well it’s your fault you were fighting too hard, what do you expect?” Ya, as I wasn’t trying too hard myself. So, this goes over like a lead balloon. I had to let go of my winning position at that moment as she took all the joy of winning by being hurt and feeling bad cause of just playing around. I said I was sorry, but I don’t think I really meant it as I was sort of annoyed with her for getting hurt. I think she was trying too hard to win (my take on it), so, that would make it her fault, wouldn’t it?
What started out as a fun playful situation has become an upsetting situation for me. It seemed easier to blame her for getting hurt even though all she was really doing was resisting me from trying to more or less dominate her. I mean, I couldn’t be to blame for hurting her if it was her fault could I? And I also held her responsible for getting hurt and ruining the opportunity to have a good time with me. This had started out as a fun game and she is injured and has hurt feelings. I’m not sure why I had to win so badly in that moment but I really didn’t understand why she had to ruin the mood by getting hurt.
Women are just so complicated, they need to be more easy going like us men. I thought of putting this on the website and asking for people to vote for me but that would be just too stupid, wouldn’t it? So just I like I said before Men are from Mars Women are from Venus!