"Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce." The information in this piece was originally contained in a Newsletter I wrote in 1999. I believe that it is every bit as relevant today as it was then. There are certain hazards or pitfalls that are specific to intimate relationships. If we are unaware of them, we fall into them, to our peril. If our life experiences have conditioned us to defend ourselves against the vulnerability involved in love, trust, affection, closeness and need, we develop defenses. Someone, I no longer recall … [Read more...]
The Paradox of Intimate Relationships
The paradox of intimate relationships in trouble is this: why, when two people claim they love one another and want for their relationship to be as close as possible, do they insist on doing those things that will ensure they grow further apart? Think about it: how can we get closer when what we’re doing is creating chaos, hurt feelings and resentment? People often call to ask us their most pressing questions about their marriage. They share with us their relationship stories that often take years to unfold in a couple of short paragraphs, … [Read more...]
Setting Boundaries in your Relationship
Setting Boundaries in your Relationship is vital for a healthy one. There are four types of boundaries that develop in human beings: physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual. Physical and sexual boundaries are external, while emotional and spiritual ones are internal mechanisms. Each of these may be characterized by a position statement. Physical boundaries: I have the right to determine when, where, how, and who is going to touch me. I have the right to determine how close someone is going to stand next to me. Sexual boundaries: I … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 2)
We are back looking at couples Reaching Out For Help Let’s Look At Our Basic Human Needs In psychology, it is assumed that people have certain basic needs and in our program (Dynamic Discovery) they are classified under 5 headings for which we apply the acronym LAFFS: 1) Love & Belonging - this includes sex, families or loved ones as well as groups. 2) Achievement, Power and Recognition - which includes feeling worthwhile as well as winning. 3) Freedom - includes independence, autonomy, your own 'space'. 4) Fun - includes pleasure … [Read more...]
Relationship advice – Men and Women are Different!
Relationship advice - Men & Women are Different. Now There’s a News Flash! Primary Differences: 1) women are not just men who can have babies 2) men are not just women who spike footballs Some differences are in the brain before birth and are not taught by society. Typically, women have a keener sense of smell and play worse chess than men. Women stand more pain than men, write less music, and do better in elementary school. Boys do not study to get short attention spans, nor are they taught to squirm and to run into walls. Girls … [Read more...]