You know that book Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. Sometimes I honestly believe it's true especially when it comes to the blame game in relationships. So, my wife and I were sort of wrestling and it all seemed like fun. I must have gotten carried away and hurt her. I wasn’t trying to but it just sort of happened. I suppose being a man carries that extra responsibility of being bigger and stronger. I was pretty sure it wasn’t because of trying to win and losing sight of the idea of having fun or forgetting we can hurt people too easily … [Read more...]
Toxic Relationships
(this piece is excerpted from my book, Why We Fail At Romantic Relationships) Toxic Relationships are more common than we would like to admit. If you have never been in a toxic relationship, this piece will not be of interest to you. If, however, you’ve been a constant traveler on the toxic trail, you may see yourself in here. And, you may recognize the fear that permeates toxic relationships. Say what? Fear? Of what? People unhappy in their intimate relationships may well consider seeking help, but that’s where the fear often takes over. … [Read more...]
Setting Boundaries in your Relationship
Setting Boundaries in your Relationship is vital for a healthy one. There are four types of boundaries that develop in human beings: physical, sexual, emotional and spiritual. Physical and sexual boundaries are external, while emotional and spiritual ones are internal mechanisms. Each of these may be characterized by a position statement. Physical boundaries: I have the right to determine when, where, how, and who is going to touch me. I have the right to determine how close someone is going to stand next to me. Sexual boundaries: I … [Read more...]
Extroverts and Introverts in Relationships
Extroverts and Introverts in Relationships - What are you? The Extrovert Let’s say that you are the life-of-the-party, an extroverted mid-20s woman who just loves being around people. This approach to life sustains you in many ways and you have many friends, and you do your best to connect with them on a regular basis; and you get together three or four times a month with the ones who live near to you. You share a spacious, well-located home with your significant other (S/O) of two years. You regularly host dinner parties, barbeques, and … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 2)
We are back looking at couples Reaching Out For Help Let’s Look At Our Basic Human Needs In psychology, it is assumed that people have certain basic needs and in our program (Dynamic Discovery) they are classified under 5 headings for which we apply the acronym LAFFS: 1) Love & Belonging - this includes sex, families or loved ones as well as groups. 2) Achievement, Power and Recognition - which includes feeling worthwhile as well as winning. 3) Freedom - includes independence, autonomy, your own 'space'. 4) Fun - includes pleasure … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 1)
Reaching Out For Help can be difficult It is not unusual to get a call from someone (usually a woman) who says, “Our marriage is in trouble but (my partner) won’t go to counseling with me. What can I do?” Let’s pause to consider the situation… When one partner suggests bringing a counselor into their marriage problems the other partner either hears an alarm while envisioning being attacked by their partner and the counselor or imagines the stories that their partner and the counselor will release to the world. Confidentiality be damned! … [Read more...]