Are You Afraid of Success?
Many of us wake up one day and hurtfully realize that we are surrounded by people with less smarts and less experience who aren’t nearly as wonderful and have achieved more, do more, have more, give more and seem to enjoy more… who are generally just “more’.
And it hurts all the more if they are a lot younger and have less education.
What the heck is that all about?
The easiest way to explain it is to accuse those people of merely being excellent at brown-nosing and sucking up, but we eventually come to realize that those behaviours may not be a great recipe for success. And it’s a demeaning way of living life.
So, let’s examine this a bit further…
If you research the field of self-help publications and programs you will note that the buzz word for many of them is ‘attraction’. “As in, I’ll teach you about the law of attraction and then all you have to do is think about money and it will flow into your coffers.” Or “I’ll teach you how to eat anything you want, any time you want, and your vision of a slim body will just be attracted to you. No sweat.”
You bet! One small problem: it’s just not the way “things” usually happen.
Not usually. And not by osmosis.
HOWEVER, if you were to learn and absorb and apply the principles and steps of whatever program you are interested in it is quite possible that you would “attract” the desired results. Through application, not by accident…
…because, no matter what you know, success at ANYTHING takes more than knowledge of what to do. If just knowing WHAT to do guaranteed success, everyone who graduates from college would be massively successful, everyone who takes any home-study courses will be an expert on the topic, psychotherapy would make everyone feel super fantastic and be done with it in a month or two.
Not the way things usually work because…
Belief systems put limits on what you do and what you can achieve, no matter how intelligent you are.
Let me explain: Perception is how we see things, and perception is driven by personality which is a reflection of our values and beliefs; differing perceptions can create conflict. Reality (belief) versus different reality (different beliefs) sets the stage for potential conflict. So, if someone is touting or selling anything that does not match what you believe to be true or real then you will reject it – either at a conscious or subconscious level – and you will work against it. Because it will be contrary to your
Values and Beliefs. And therefore not good or not acceptable. And success will be very unlikely. And an attitude of failure will take hold…
…and attitudes stop you from reaching higher even though the success you want is within your grasp. Conflicting emotions can make the easiest decisions and tasks feel nearly impossible. Self defeating thoughts just “pop in” at the last second to clutch defeat from the jaws of victory.
So, why on earth would anyone fear success? Well, let’s investigate further.
Even if you consciously express a desire to change, your subconscious might sabotage you simply because it knows what it gets from the current behaviours… whereas any new behaviours may result in unknown results and fear is always of the unknown, or of something that has not yet happened.
Ain`t the mind a wonderfully tricky thing?
To make change even more difficult, we are faced with internal dialogue, such as:
• My family bugs me about the way I eat, dress, talk
• Friends don’t treat me the same anymore
• I have way too many responsibilities now
• I’m forced to work with people I hate
• I “never” get to see my family and friends anymore
• I can’t ever eat food I like on this plan
• I don’t feel right living in this big house, in this neighborhood
• I’d have to speak in public… no way
• It’s too risky
• The pressure of performing or winning will be too great
• Everyone will treat me differently
• I’ll be seen as a greedy money-grubber
• I won’t like myself if I get everything I want
• And on and on an on…
There are so many more reasons that can make success at any venture feel like failure.
There are so many other associated implications that can be real or conjured up in the mind relating to the “negatives” about succeeding in the various areas or roles of life. Just one, suddenly being different than your friends, is enough all by itself to keep you from going for some really juicy goal.
And they all make succeeding feel like failing:
• Smokers keep going because their friends do it.
• Fat people stay fat because if they would lose the shared experience of eating with their fat friends.
• Leaving our broke friends behind is often the single biggest reason for keeping our own financial situation just the way it is.
When all these “fear of success” failure patterns play out in every area of life… it is devastating.
Fear of success, whatever caused it and keeps it alive in your mind is easily one of the most common and most detrimental of all the reasons why people don’t become more in their lifetimes. Using NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) to imprint new information into deep memory is a dynamic, effective program for changing your automatic, programmed mental patterns that have guided and directed your decisions your whole life. And there is simply no better, faster, easier method for rising above the limiting invisible, yet very real, beliefs that keep you from being the person you dreamed about many years ago.
Discover what could be the missing puzzle to your getting to where you want to be in your life… because, if growth isn’t THE purpose of life, it’s right up there on the list. And NLP is a powerhouse program for change.
Join those who’ve used it to alter their perceptions and their actions to their great benefit.
You will LOVE it.
For more information about the fear of success or Neuro Linguistic Programming just contact us anytime, we would love to talk with you!