When do we start taking responsibility for our own actions? It appears that we no longer own our actions. Owning our actions involves taking personal responsibility for what we do. Why is it that when something goes wrong, we need some place to lay the blame? Part of being a mature, responsible adult is to know that when we make a decision in life we are responsible for the outcome, not someone else. Let’s look at the following examples: A married man goes out and has an affair. He blames his wife for not satisfying his needs in bed. … [Read more...]
This is what Child Sexual Abuse Looks Like
What Must Have Happened to Make These Children Feel So Bad? This is what Child Sexual Abuse Looks Like When I decided to check into the problem of child sexual abuse it was following several casual discussions I had with friends who themselves had experienced sexual abuse when they were children. There was no major “Ah, ha!” moment, no thundering epiphany since those discussions had occurred over the course of a year. Once I was awakened to the topic I related those discussions to my connection with clients who had attended Dynamic … [Read more...]
Desiderata – A Poem by Max Ehrmann
"Desiderata" (Latin for ‘desired things’) is a 1927 prose poem by American writer Max Ehrmann and is my favourite poem/song/devotional. Enjoy. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 2)
We are back looking at couples Reaching Out For Help Let’s Look At Our Basic Human Needs In psychology, it is assumed that people have certain basic needs and in our program (Dynamic Discovery) they are classified under 5 headings for which we apply the acronym LAFFS: 1) Love & Belonging - this includes sex, families or loved ones as well as groups. 2) Achievement, Power and Recognition - which includes feeling worthwhile as well as winning. 3) Freedom - includes independence, autonomy, your own 'space'. 4) Fun - includes pleasure … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 1)
Reaching Out For Help can be difficult It is not unusual to get a call from someone (usually a woman) who says, “Our marriage is in trouble but (my partner) won’t go to counseling with me. What can I do?” Let’s pause to consider the situation… When one partner suggests bringing a counselor into their marriage problems the other partner either hears an alarm while envisioning being attacked by their partner and the counselor or imagines the stories that their partner and the counselor will release to the world. Confidentiality be damned! … [Read more...]