Over the years I’ve worked with thousands of people in counseling and coaching sessions as well as workshops and seminars, and one thing I gradually came to understand is that those who were suffering the most were almost always the ones who were lonely. Not just lonely for an hour or two or a day or two; no, I’m talking about those for whom lonely became a way of life. For the past 10 years, I’ve communicated with other counselors, therapists, and other keen observers of the human condition (mostly nurses and care aides) and they confirmed my … [Read more...]
About Affairs
It seems to be “common knowledge” that affairs are the refuge of the discontented, that only people in unhappy marriages cheat. But “happy,” it turns out, is not necessarily an antidote to affair(s). There are those who believe (or want to believe) that we currently live in an age of transparency – some believe so because of the instant transmission of information from anywhere in the world, some because of the CCTV cameras that seem to be on every street in the world, and others because they believe they are smarter than anyone from any … [Read more...]
Therapy & the Mind-Body Connection
Using the Body Syndrome Theory in Therapy The body syndrome theory postulates that modern people have adapted to their computer-paced lives to the extent that it feels natural to push through trauma. Consequently, it is no longer instinctual or even a priority to set time aside to feel all of the feelings of the day's upsets and stresses. Many of our clients – when they first come in – report an inability to feel or even recognize their feelings. These individuals have learned to rationalize their traumas, including rejection, cruelty, fear, … [Read more...]
Bullying can happen to anyone or anywhere
Bullying can happen when you are young, old, at work, school, or anywhere else Cautionary Note: Dealing with bullies is nearly as difficult as dealing with a psychopath because so many of them are highly skilled at hiding their bullying personality from their supervisors. This piece is really just an overview, so if you think you have one or more bullies in your shop – or if you work with or for a bully – talk to a professional. If you do need assistance, we can help you with identifying an outside professional who will be able to walk you … [Read more...]
Contemplations on the Subject of Desire
Let’s consider some information on the subject of desire: In Buddhism desire is considered one of the main hindrances to enlightenment Wise man once said, "There are two kinds of desire. One kind of desire reinforces the ego and its suffering while the other desire sets the ego aside and dissolves suffering. It is born out of generosity and appreciation." Loa Tzu said, "...rid yourself of desire in order to observe its secrets, but always allow yourself to have desires in order to observe its manifestations." Ram Dass once said, … [Read more...]
Communication + Intimate Relationship
Excerpt from Why We Fail at Relationships Book When you are in an intimate relationship, you should feel understood and accepted for who you are. You trust the other person and can open up completely to them. Intimacy can be intellectual, emotional, and physical. A ‘good’ intimate relationship is one in which you: pay attention to your partner. share ideas and thoughts. share feelings with each other without fear. try to understand why you and your partner behave as you do. You can communicate in many ways: words (what … [Read more...]
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