You can get huge positive effects in your life by consciously replacing old habits with new ones, constructive behaviors or habits. The way you do that is to use our Dynamic Discovery self-evaluation techniques (more information can be found here on our website. However, it would be prudent to not eliminate a habit until you’ve found new ways to get the benefits of the habit. The following will explain the wisdom behind that advice.
Every behavior has a positive intention
In this context, positive doesn’t necessarily mean “nice” – it means purposeful. The behavior is done with a goal in mind, although the goal may not be something we are consciously aware of.
You may very well not agree with the foregoing and may be wondering about behaviors like smoking, alcoholism, heroin addiction, suicide, and murder. Good point.
Even the most seemingly bizarre and self-destructive behaviors are intended to service one of our five (5) human needs – that is, some goal or purpose.
- Alcoholics often uses alcohol to silence internal dialogue and get the sense that they’re really okay.
- Heroin addicts often use drugs to escape from painful feelings and get a sense of peace.
- Smokers use cigarettes to achieve a variety of goals – such as stress relief… which is a problem since cigarettes create stress.
- Suicide is often either a cry for help or the only option a person sees for escaping from what they perceive as inevitable suffering.
- Murders are committed for a huge variety of reasons, but you can bet that the murderer perceives it as the best choice available to them. Maybe there is a thought that “getting rid” of that person, or those people, will bring the killer happiness or peace or some other benefit. A benefit that only the killer might understand.
This is why, when it comes to habits, we recommend that – through self-evaluation – people identify the positive things the habit was intended to achieve, then find other ways of achieving those benefits because human neurology is goal-seeking and always looks for the most effective way of achieving a goal. If your subconscious perceives a better way of achieving a goal, it will take it.
Every single “feature” that’s included in our neurological toolbox is there because it is intended to fulfill some purpose. Each feature (behavior) is deliberate, purposeful, and intended to get us something we want. Whether it works or not.
They all have a positive intention.
So, stop fighting them. Stop fighting yourself. When you fight yourself, someone loses, and that someone is you. Evaluate your habits, thoughts, feelings and behaviors in order to become fully aware of them. Notice them.
You are not your thoughts, you are not your beliefs, you are not your behaviors, you are not your habits. But, you are the one who’s perceiving them, so look for the benefits, even the most seemingly irrational habits, then find new ways to achieve those benefits.And, finally, take a look at an alternative approach to determining your Best Interest as a positive way to manage your life but there is another way of assessing yourself. Let’s look at the two approaches so you can see the difference.
Best Interest definition = Whatever it is you’re planning to do, ask yourself if it is intended to help you or hurt another. Help ____ Hurt ____
Alternative approach = Whatever it is you’re planning to do, ask yourself this: Would I still do (this) if I knew that my family and friends would see me doing (this)?
If your answer to the Alternative approach question is “No” then you should ask yourself this: Am I being hypocritical by wanting to do things that I’m ashamed of or fearful that those closest to me will find out about? Yes ____ No ____
What is wrong with what I’m intending to do that requires it to be kept secret?
To drive the point home, consider this…
The act that you are presently considering or are actually engaged in, might be your very last act and therefore fully representative of you as your last act on this planet.
That’s all folks – just something to think about.
Yes ____ No ____
Replacing old habits with new ones isn’t easy but it can be done one by one until you are completely happy with you!