Are you a Control Freak? I have often heard people referred to as controllers or control-freaks, but my work and my studies have led me to believe that the word control is overused (abused?) in relation to human behavior. I understand that the original meaning or intent of the word as a derogatory descriptor referred to those people who raised hell by demanding that everyone around them do, be, and act only in ways that would please the Controller. In therapy, we use the word control as a term that describes people who try to control or make … [Read more...]
Common Symptoms of Anxiety
Common Symptoms of Anxiety Everyone experiences anxiety as a part of the normal stresses and strains of life. But, many people have excessive anxiety that causes much distress and suffering. Sometimes the impact of anxiety is so subtle that it creeps up on you without your noticing it. Perhaps a headache or back muscle tension are due to chronic worry or inability to relax. Are you becoming more irritable because your anxious feelings won't go away? Do you have trouble finishing tasks or getting things done because of your anxieties or … [Read more...]
Dynamic Self-esteem
So what is Dynamic Self-esteem? Far too many people believe that “success” at a given task or set of tasks is judged only at the end, believing that if they are not perfect or if they didn’t win the prize or beat their opponent into the ground, or if they didn’t get asked to the dance, or if they don’t weigh a certain amount then they didn’t succeed and they aren’t any good. Let that sink in… If you don’t reach some level of perfection you aren’t any good. What a bunch of horse pucky! A crock of crap. It’s absurd on a couple levels. … [Read more...]
What if all your problems are just memories?
What if all your problems are just memories? When I first heard that question I’ll admit I was stumped. Thankfully I kept an open mind and I’m glad to tell you the question now makes sense, and it can become a powerful method for re-training ourselves to stay present and detached from past behavior patterns that can cause a lot of damage in all areas of our lives. Think of a problem that you used to believe you had (notice how we purposely phrase the question in the past tense). If you are having a hard time accepting that the problem is … [Read more...]
My Recipe For Change
Recipe for Change in Short means making small daily improvements, and constantly acknowledge what you are doing well. Here’s a sobering thought: One thing I could never really accept about being an alcoholic was the idea that I was powerless over my behavior. In my head I certainly believed that was true - I knew that for many years I had been unable to control my drinking and had suffered horribly because of it. But once I finally realized how powerless I felt in my heart, I decided there was no way in hell I was going to stay there. I … [Read more...]
Does my Child have a Drinking Problem?
Does my Child have a Drinking Problem? Discovering your child is drinking can generate fear, confusion, and anger in parents. It’s important to remain calm when confronting your teen and only do so when everyone is sober. Explain your concerns and make it clear that your concern comes from a place of love. It’s important that your teen feels you are supportive. Five steps parents can take: Lay down rules and consequences. Your teen should understand that drinking alcohol comes with specific consequences. But don’t make hollow threats or … [Read more...]
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