What Must Have Happened to Make These Children Feel So Bad? This is what Child Sexual Abuse Looks Like When I decided to check into the problem of child sexual abuse it was following several casual discussions I had with friends who themselves had experienced sexual abuse when they were children. There was no major “Ah, ha!” moment, no thundering epiphany since those discussions had occurred over the course of a year. Once I was awakened to the topic I related those discussions to my connection with clients who had attended Dynamic … [Read more...]
Desiderata – A Poem by Max Ehrmann
"Desiderata" (Latin for ‘desired things’) is a 1927 prose poem by American writer Max Ehrmann and is my favourite poem/song/devotional. Enjoy. "Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 2)
We are back looking at couples Reaching Out For Help Let’s Look At Our Basic Human Needs In psychology, it is assumed that people have certain basic needs and in our program (Dynamic Discovery) they are classified under 5 headings for which we apply the acronym LAFFS: 1) Love & Belonging - this includes sex, families or loved ones as well as groups. 2) Achievement, Power and Recognition - which includes feeling worthwhile as well as winning. 3) Freedom - includes independence, autonomy, your own 'space'. 4) Fun - includes pleasure … [Read more...]
Reaching Out For Help…Together (Part 1)
Reaching Out For Help can be difficult It is not unusual to get a call from someone (usually a woman) who says, “Our marriage is in trouble but (my partner) won’t go to counseling with me. What can I do?” Let’s pause to consider the situation… When one partner suggests bringing a counselor into their marriage problems the other partner either hears an alarm while envisioning being attacked by their partner and the counselor or imagines the stories that their partner and the counselor will release to the world. Confidentiality be damned! … [Read more...]
Codependency
Codependency - What is it? Codependency is a condition that results in a dysfunctional relationship between the codependent and other people. A codependent is addicted to helping someone. They need to be needed. This addiction is sometimes so strong, the codependent will cause the other person to continue to be needy. This behavior is called enabling. The enabler will purposefully overlook someone abusing a child, will call in sick for someone suffering from addiction, will put roadblocks to prevent their child from becoming independent, or … [Read more...]
How to Deal with Anger | Part 2
In case you missed Part 1. we discussed: Angry Emotions and behaviours. Here is Part 2 on How to Deal with Anger Tempers Flare When the Stakes are High All of us get angry – some more than others. We all likely know one or more people who seem to live in a constant state of anger. Their language is often colourful and filled with exclamation marks. A lot of things tick us off, irk, grate, bother, and have us wanting to either make someone “pay” or break something or maybe punch some idiot. Most of the time, these feelings subside and pass. … [Read more...]